I prefer Diskoteka Ballads 5

As I mentioned, and as I will frequently repeat, my mp3 player has died. I downloaded a fixer-upper program from the company web site, and it didn't fixer-upper it because my computer doesn't even know when the stupid dead player is docked. The company web site sells new batteries, but only long-life batteries for newer players, not for my 21-month-old antique.

This put me in dire straits, not only in terms of losing 8000 songs (some of which were actually paid for), but in terms of the fact that I can't run without music. If I'm jogging along, all red-faced and huffing, and someone notices my uncovered ears, they may try and talk to me. Then I have to slow my roll, waddle over to them, wipe the sweat off my upper lip with my sleeve, and try to gasp my way through rejecting their invitation to come drink at their house. Fortunately, I came up with a solution that puts me at the forefront of modern fashion and technology...


This is my new player. I suppose I could legitimately call it a Walkman and not sound like those geriatric teachers who call CDs "records" and who refer to anything handheld, from PDAs to cell phones, as "Walkman." It's a Congli CL-205, featuring built-in speakers and a sweet headphone jack. It runs on blazing-fast AA batteries and has rewind and fast-forward capabilities. As if that weren't enough, it has translucent blue plastic casing on both ends so you can witness the miracle of music stored on magnetic strips. How do they do it?!

Total cost: 8 lari (~$5)

Since the salesman was kind enough to throw in free batteries, which will die within the week, all that was left was to find some appropriate jamz. And what gems of jamz did I find!


Let me introduce you to my new music collection. It may not have the diversity or quality of my former one, but since I couldn't find any classic rock compilations, these had to do. On your left, Diskoteka Ballads 6, filling out the empty piece of my heart that was longing for something by Westlife. At center, Super Hits 18, an eclectic mix of 2003-era Sean Paul- and Nelly-type hip hop. And on the right, Arash 2007. I'm sure Arash didn't release a tape called "2007" and then put all of his songs from the last 5 years on it, but someone else had the courtesy to do so.

Total cost: 7.5 lari (~$4.75)

Thus, my new player and music collection set me back by $10. My old, dead player was $200, and when you include the costs of the 600 or so songs that I paid for, let's estimate that it was worth $500 to me. Does this mean that I valued my old music 50 times more than my new music?

Yes. It does. And if it takes until my last day of service, I'm going to search the entire e-world for anything that'll make my mp3 player live again.